Archive for August, 2009

Summer’s Debbie Downer on Downers.

August 25, 2009

I’m back in New York & it’s hot & sticky & I’ve had a lot of”real life” errands to do before I get taken off health insurance and begin to live my life in perpetual fear of getting a cold or getting hit by a car…again. But what the fuck ever. It feels good to be home. At the end of every summer, I always make a playlist that encapsulates the feelings of the last few months. The playlist is a complete hodgepodge of Top 40 summer jams (you know the ones), questionable lesbian music and Spin-approved indie fluff. I admit that my tastes take a nosedive during these sweltering months. So imagine my shock and horror when I realized that my entire Summer 2009 playlist consisted of the following bands:


1. Four Best Coast songs. This is awkward because I know Bethany & if she only knew how many times I played her surf jams on repeat…… Well, I guess she knows now. 

2. 3 Vivian Girls songs. Big fucking surprise. I seriously tear up during “The Desert”. This lends credence to the theory that I’m a 100% weirdo freak, does it not?

3. 2 No Age songs. Sensing a fuzzy hazy dreamy  pattern here….

4. A Grizzly Bear song that I heard being played at a high-school house party in the West Village. Yeah, I don’t want to talk about it. Actually wait, I do. My friend is kind of like a big sister to this 17 year-old who was throwing a party at her loft because her parents were out of town. Obviously, we needed to attend. I’m expecting these kids to be getting rowdy to Lil’ Wayne and doing lines of coke off of each other’s stomaches. Imagine my disappointment when it’s really just ten kids in questionable outfits smoking pot and listening to Animal Collective. Hi, welcome to college? Where are the teens of Gossip Girl or Larry Clark’s Kids?! Sigh. Maybe the next high-school party will be better…


So that’s it. Grizzly Bear. No Age. Best Coast. Vivian Girls. That was summer 2009. I don’t get it. Was I stoned the entire summer or what? Oh, wait…


Wouldn’t you like to know?

August 12, 2009

Motherfucker. I’m one-handed for one more week. In the meantime, I’m determined to create a substantive blog post. I think I can do it. After all, I’m fresh out of a surgery-induced painkiller haze and I’m able to articulate full sentences again. Lets hope it doesn’t get lost in translation in the ~blogosphere~.


Without further ado, I bring you:

                                                THINGS I’M CURRENTLY INTO.




Normally, I shun a film that reeks of pre-packaged quirkiness. Michael Cera,in particular, has become a repeat offender of perpetuating this manufactured awkwardness. So why did I fall in love with his latest endeavor, Paper Heart? Perhaps the Los Angeles summer heat has softened my sensibilities. Or maybe it was relative newcomer  Charlyne Yi’s  adorableness that sold me. Whatever the reason, I left the theatre satisfied. It’s a film about love. Or rather, Yi’s quest for the ability to love. Enter Michael Cera, who expedites her search by simply being the bee’s knees. They fall in love (or something close to it) and voila! We have me crying into my box of Sno Caps at the Archlight.  Sold.




Truth be told, I kind of OD’d on these BK girlfriends last spring. Every song started to blend into the next and it all got rather monotonous. With their latest LP, Everything Goes Wrong, consider me hooked yet again. The sounds on this record are a lot more polished and layered than their previous effort. It’s not a remarkable change but it does exemplify a band’s growth. I’m a big softie for fuz, women and hooks. That’s the Vivian Girls in a nutshell.




Ashley Olsen graces the cover of snoozefest Marie Claire this month and consider me obsessed. Although the magazine promises that Olsen “spills her secrets”, we all know that’s not true because the Olsens can barely speak, let alone “spill” anything. I would suggest, however, that you read the interview because Olsen admits that Mary-Kate once  personally tailored an Alia gown and ended up ruining it. The point of this offensive anecdote was for Olsen to show that her and MK don’t view fashion as this beautiful untouchable entity. They’re just things they live in. Uh, okay Ashley. I guess it’s easy to view couture that way when you’re making thousands of dollars a minute just by existing. Us plebian folk, however, would never think of ripping up an Alia! Ugh. You make it so hard for me to love you sometimes. But I still do.


Speaking of which, everyone view this YouTube video immediately.



Mary-Kate is interviewed on the set of her latest masterpiece, Beastly, and homegirl is obviously  on so many drugs. She talks literally two words a minute. Certainly not the speed of a New York Minute at least.

Party Forever.

August 1, 2009



these are the party girls. these are the girls who are pretty on the outside & __________   on the inside. these are the girls who smiled like they meant it when they were ten before being cunts in middle school and before being high in high school. they stare at each other and they stare at their salads and they stare at their clocks and screens. these are the girls with money, honey. they’re taught to accentuate the face and play down the words that come out of their mouths. these are the girls who are incapable of making any kind of human connection. they connect best with unclothed boys, with cameras and the clothes that they like to buy and put on their ripe taut bodies. so hopelessly dull. nothing keeps them warm at night besides their own narcissism. these are the girls you’re supposed to want to know.